Sonia on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
by keshihead
Summary: I wrote this back in 2000. Sonia, a character from the ill-fated cartoon Sonic Underground, shows off her mental prowess on WWTBAM.
1. Default Chapter

"Sonia on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"  
  
By Andrew Sullivan (with help from Thomas Pitt), November 2000.  
  
All Sonic Underground characters are trademarks of their respective owners.  
  
'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' is a trademark of Celador Productions.  
  
£100 - £1million questions taken from the book 'WWTBAM - The Ultimate Challenge' priced £5.99 from all good UK bookshops. Both Fastest Finger questions were taken from the show.  
  
SONIA ON WWTBAM  
  
After a string of advertisements, a blue screen with the YTV logo and the word 'Subtitles' in the top-right corner appeared. A male voice-over said:  
  
"Now, ten more contestants have the chance to play for £1 million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". The next screen shows a contestant sitting in the seat.  
  
"Last time on WWTBAM..." says Chris Tarrant's voice as the contestant selects her answer.  
  
"I'm pretty sure it's Volt" says the contestant.  
  
"Final answer?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yes" said the contestant. The audience all gasped in shock.  
  
"You've just won £1million!" yells Chris as the audience applauded loudly. Then the intro music played followed by the camera panning around the studio. Chris walks out as the music reaches its climax.  
  
"Hello and welcome to WWTBAM," said Chris "Well, last week we had our third millionaire in the shape of Robert Brydges. Let's meet our ten shiny new contestants who are ready and raring to play for another million. They are Sonia Hedgehog from Mobius, Jack Barnes from Glasgow, Fred Jackson from Essex, Donna Richards from Mid Glamorgan, Mark Smits from London, Simon Peterson from Derbyshire, Eleanor Crowe from Bristol, Peter Barker from Ipswich, Robert Mitchell from Sussex and Andrew Sullivan from West Yorkshire. Now, to have a chance to play for £1 million, it's Fastest Finger First. In a moment, a question and 4 answers will appear on the screen in front of them. Whoever puts the four answers in the correct order in the fastest time will be first to play tonight for £1million. No calling out from the audience please, and good luck." The lights dimmed.  
  
Starting with 'stop' put the British traffic light sequence in order.  
  
3 notes then struck.  
  
A: Amber  
  
B: Red  
  
C: Red & Amber  
  
D: Green  
  
A melodic tune played as the contestants thought of the order.  
  
"OK, let's see what the answer is" said Chris as a box appeared at the side of him to display the answers.  
  
B: Red  
  
C: Red & Amber  
  
D: Green  
  
A: Amber  
  
"If anyone gets this wrong, don't let them drive you home tonight!" The audience laughed "...that's the order, now let's see who got it right in the fastest time."  
  
A table appeared with all the contestant's names.  
  
"These people got it right..."  
  
To everyone's surprise, NOBODY lit up!  
  
"Well... looks like everybody got it wrong!" said Chris, laughing "OK, we'll try Fastest Finger again and HOPE somebody gets it right!" The lights dimmed again.  
  
Put the names of the Teletubbies in alphabetical order.  
  
The audience laughed when they saw the question!  
  
"What are we doing with our lives?" asked Chris, laughing.   
  
3 notes then struck again.  
  
A: Tinky Winky  
  
B: Laa Laa   
  
C: Dipsy  
  
D: Po  
  
The melodic tune played again as the contestants thought of the order.  
  
"OK, let's see what the answer is. I bet HUNDREDS of kids are screaming the answers at the telly right now!" said Chris, who just couldn't stop laughing! The box appeared at the side of him again to display the answers.  
  
C: Dipsy  
  
B: Laa Laa  
  
D: Po  
  
A: Tinky Winky  
  
"That's the order, now let's see who got it right in the fastest time."  
  
The table with the contestant's names appeared again.  
  
"These people got it right..." said Chris as 6 names turned green "In 5.27 seconds, it's Sonia!" said Chris as Sonia walked over to Chris' side. "Are you ready to play for £1million?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, I am" said Sonia.  
  
"Then let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!" said Chris as they made their way to the centre of the studio where the two computer panels were waiting. After they had sat down, a dramatic lighting change occurred.  
  
"This is Sonia, a freedom fighter from the planet Mobius," said Chris to the people watching at home "...that's a weird profession. What exactly do you do?"  
  
"I defend the planet with the help of my brothers," replied Sonia "as well as looking for our mother."  
  
"So why are you on a British game show?" asked Chris.  
  
"Mobius needs finances after Robotnik set up all these taxes" said Sonia, angrily.  
  
"OK. If Sonia won £1million, she said she'd like to lie in a bath of melted chocolate and would get Andrew, who's sat behind me in Seat 10, to scrub her back!" laughed Chris as the camera shot to Andrew's face, who just smiled sheepishly "but would give anything left over to the Resistance. In the audience is your brother Manic. Give us a wave! OK, 15 questions for £1million. Sonia has 3 lifelines, which she can use at any time: 50-50, Phone a Friend and Ask the Audience. Let's play WWTBAM." The dramatic lighting change happened again (from now on, it'll be called the DLC - Ed).  
  
"OK, here's your first question for £100" said Chris.  
  
What creature represents the Zodiac sign Cancer?  
  
A: CrabB: Serpent  
  
C: TigerD: Monkey  
  
"It's A: Crab" said Sonia.  
  
"Nice and easy, you've won £100" said Chris "OK, here's question 2 of 15 for £200."  
  
Mint sauce traditionally accompanies which meat?  
  
A: GooseB: Venison  
  
C: LambD: Duck  
  
" I think it's C: Lamb" said Sonia.  
  
"Yeah, it's right. You win £200," said Chris "OK, going on. Here's the third question for £300, you're doing fine."  
  
Which of these is an equestrian sport?  
  
A: BasketballB: Shinty  
  
C: CricketD: Dressage  
  
"It's Dressage" said Sonia.  
  
"Well done, you win £300," said Chris "You're 12 questions away from £1 million and 2 questions away from a guaranteed £1,000. You still have all 3 lifelines left. Take a look at this question for £500."  
  
What is a cagoule?  
  
A: RaincoatB: Boat  
  
C: Cooking potD: Reptile  
  
"It's a raincoat," said Sonia.  
  
"Yes, you've won £500," said Chris "Be careful now. This is the last point at which you could go home with nothing, I'm sure you won't though. It has happened before, but you have all your lifelines if you need them. Take a look at this next question; it's worth a guaranteed £1,000."  
  
CO2 is the chemical formula for which gas?  
  
A: HydrogenB: Ozone  
  
C: NitrogenD: Carbon Dioxide  
  
"Carbon Dioxide, Chris" said Sonia.  
  
"Well done, you've just guaranteed yourself £1,000!" said Chris as the audience applauded followed by the DLC. "OK, you've got £1,000 guaranteed, but take a look at this next question for £2,000."  
  
What is the name of Alan Alder's character in the TV show M*A*S*H?  
  
A: EagleeyeB: Hawkeye  
  
C: FisheyeD: Brighteye  
  
Sonia thought for a moment.  
  
"You might as well play this question, you've got nothing to lose by giving me a wrong answer" said Chris.  
  
"It's Hawkeye," she said.  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yeah" Sonia replied. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You've won £2,000," said Chris as the DLC happened again. "OK, you're 9 questions away from £1million with all your lifelines intact. The rises in money are getting steeper, but the drops are as well. Take a look at this next question for £4,000".  
  
With which type of music was Fats Waller associated?  
  
A: CountryB: Folk  
  
C: OperaD: Jazz  
  
Sonia thought for a while.  
  
"I think it's Jazz" she said.  
  
"You want to play?" asked Chris "but you'd lose £1,000 if you're wrong".  
  
"Yes, Jazz" she said. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"It's correct, you win £4,000," said Chris as the DLC happened again "OK, you've got £4,000 with all your lifelines left. Find out how much further she goes after the break" said Chris as the ad break began. After a few minutes, the show was back on.  
  
"Welcome back to part 2 of WWTBAM. Sonia is currently on £4,000 with all her lifelines intact. OK, Sonia, take a look at this question for £8,000" said Chris.  
  
Which football team play their home games at Goodison Park?  
  
A: EvertonB: Chelsea  
  
C: FulhamD: Arsenal  
  
Sonia thought for a while, but looked like she didn't know.  
  
"I'll Ask the Audience, please," she said "do you know, audience?"  
  
"Sonia, it doesn't work like that!" said Chris "you can't just ask them like that, do hands up in the dark or ibble-dibble! Do you want to use your lifeline?"  
  
"Yes, please" replied Sonia.  
  
"OK, audience, let's get Sonia up to £8,000," said Chris as he read the question and the four answers out again "on your keypads please. A, B, C or D, all vote now."  
  
A tune played as the audience cast their votes. After the tune had finished, a bar chart showed the audience's votes.  
  
A: 82%B: 0%C: 4%D: 14%  
  
"82% say Everton," said Chris. "14% are saying Arsenal. It's entirely up to you."  
  
"I'll go with the audience, A" said Sonia.  
  
"Final answer?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yep. Final answer" she replied. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"I can tell you that Manic thought it was Arsenal. He's wrong, you're right, you've just won £8,000" said Chris. The DLC happened again. "Have a look at the next question, number 9 of 15. Get it right and you win £16,000, but if you get it wrong, you lose £7,000."  
  
The Society of Friends is the formal name for which Christian sect?  
  
A: MormonsB: Quakers  
  
C: BaptistsD: Methodists  
  
"I've a feeling it's Quakers," said Sonia "but I'm not 100% sure."  
  
"How sure are you?" asked Chris.  
  
"90% sure" she replied. "but I'll play. Quakers."  
  
"Final answer?" Chris asked.  
  
"Yes" replied Sonia. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had £8,000...," said Chris.   
  
"Oh, please don't tease me!" said Sonia.  
  
"I like teasing people!" said Chris, laughing "it's the best fun I have! Alright, you now have £16,000!" the audience applauded and the DLC happened again. "OK, your next big milestone. Get this answer correct, and you win £32,000 guaranteed. Get it wrong, though, and you lose £15,000 of the £16,000 you've got at this moment. Here's question 10 of a possible 15."  
  
Which author created the character Hannibal Lecter?  
  
A: Thomas HarrisB: Patricia Cromwell  
  
C: Joseph HellerD: Robert Ludlum  
  
"You ever see Silence of the Lambs?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yes, I did," said Sonia "but I'm not sure who created the character. I saw one of the contestants on Big Brother with a book about him. I've a feeling it's A: Thomas Harris."  
  
"Take your time on this," said Chris "it's worth £32,000 guaranteed."  
  
"I know for a fact it isn't C or D," said Sonia.  
  
"So that leaves you with A or B," said Chris "Nee-noo, nee-noo, nee-noo!" The audience laughed.  
  
"I'm gonna go with my instincts and say A: Thomas Harris" said Sonia.  
  
"Final answer?" asked Chris "you'd lose £15,000 if you're wrong."  
  
"Yes, it is" said Sonia. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had £16,000...you've now got £32,000!" said Chris as the DLC happened again. "OK, take a look at this £32,000 cheque, that's yours guaranteed. Put it in your pocket if you want, but we want to give you more than that. Take a look at the next question for £64,000. You still have 2 lifelines left: 50-50 and Phone A Friend."  
  
The World Series is a contest in which sport?  
  
A: BasketballB: American Football  
  
C: Ice HockeyD: Baseball  
  
Sonia thought for quite a while, looking at the question and the answers. She muttered a few ideas under her breath, drank some water and looked again, but was looking like she didn't know.  
  
"What are you thinking at the moment?" asked Chris.  
  
"It's either B or D, but I'm not too sure. Can I go 50-50, please?" asked Sonia.  
  
"Of course," said Chris "OK, Computer, take away 2 wrong answers. Leave us the right answer and one remaining wrong answer."  
  
A:B: American Football  
  
C:D: Baseball  
  
"That ALWAYS happens, doesn't it!" said Chris, laughing. "Well, you might as well play this question. Whatever happens, you go home with £32,000. You've got one more lifeline if you need it."  
  
"Well, I'm going to go for Baseball," replied Sonia "because I think the American Football contest is called the Superbowl."  
  
"Are you sure?" Chris asked, "You seem confident about this."  
  
"I'm pretty sure" she replied.  
  
"Final answer?" asked Chris  
  
"Yep, final answer" said Sonia. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had £32,000 guaranteed," said Chris "but you can give it back because you've just doubled it to £64,000!" The audience applauded and the DLC struck again. "Here's your cheque for £64,000, but we don't want to give you that!" he said as he whipped the cheque out of her grasp. "This is serious money now. You've got £32,000 guaranteed. You can obviously take £64,000 if you want, but we'd love to give you the next cheque for £125,000. Take a look at the next question, you're 4 away from £1million."  
  
Who provides the voice of 'Chef' on the TV cartoon series South Park?  
  
A: Barry WhiteB: Isaac Hayes  
  
C: Smokey RobinsonD: Errol Brown  
  
"This is easy," said Sonia "It's Isaac Hayes."  
  
"Are you a fan of South Park?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yeah!" said Sonia.   
  
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yes, it is" Sonia replied. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had £64,000," said Chris. He then proceeded to rip up the cheque "Not anymore, you've just won £125,000!" The audience applauded and the DLC happened again. "You now have a cheque for £125,000 with your name on it. Put that in your pocket, but have a look at the next question, number 13 of 15 for £250,000."  
  
An 'erg' is a measurement of what?  
  
A: VolumeB: Mass  
  
C: PressureD: Energy  
  
Sonia thought for a while, but looked blank. She drank some water and had another look at the question and the 4 answers.  
  
"I'll Phone a Friend" she said.  
  
"Who shall we phone?" asked Chris.  
  
"My other brother, Sonic" she replied.  
  
"OK, we'll phone Sonic. You tell him the question and the 4 answers and hope he gives you the right one. Just remember that you don't have to go with his answer. You can still take your £125,000 if you want." The phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" said Sonic.  
  
"Hi, Sonic," said Chris "it's Chris Tarrant off ITV's WWTBAM. I've got your sister Sonia here and she's doing quite well. She's on £125,000 at the moment, but with your help, we could get her up to £250,000, so no pressure."  
  
"I'll do my best" said Sonic.  
  
"She'll tell you a question with 4 possible answers, we just want the right one. OK, Sonia, your time starts now" said Chris. A clock displaying 30 seconds appeared. Sonia read out the question and the 4 possible answers.  
  
"I'm not totally sure, but I've a feeling it's energy," said Sonic "go with it if you want, but it's a guess."  
  
"OK, thanks." Said Sonia.  
  
"Well, Sonic thinks it's energy but he didn't sound too confident, did he? What do you want to do?" asked Chris.  
  
"If he didn't know, he would've said. I'm playing D: Energy" said Sonia.  
  
"Do you trust him enough? This question's worth £250,000, you'd lose £93,000 if he's wrong" said Chris.  
  
"I've always trusted him," Sonia replied "and I'm going with his answer, Energy." Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had a cheque in your hand for £125,000" said Chris "Hand it over. You could have easily taken this back to Mobius." He then ripped THAT cheque up. "But because of your brother, you're now worth £250,000!"   
  
The audience applauded as the DLC happened again. "OK, you now have this cheque for £250,000, but we don't want to give you that! We laugh in the face of £250,000! We really want to give you the next one for £500,000. But get it wrong, and you lose £218,000. Take a look at this next question. It's number 14 of a possible 15."  
  
What is the meaning of c in the famous theorem and formula a2+b2=c2  
  
A: PerpendicularB: Diameter  
  
C: PerimeterD: Hypotenuse  
  
"Why are you grinning at me?" asked Chris.  
  
"Because I know the answer!" said Sonia "It's Hypotenuse!"  
  
"What makes you think that?" asked Chris.  
  
"I remember doing this at high school. The theorem is called Pythagoras' theorem. The answer's Hypotenuse" replied Sonia.  
  
"Final answer?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yes, I'm sticking with Hypotenuse" she replied. Her answer turned orange.  
  
"You had £250,000 in your hand. You risked £218,000 on this question, but it was a risk worth taking, you've just won £500,000!" said Chris as the audience applauded loudly and the DLC happened again. "Did you think for a second that you'd get this far?" asked Chris.  
  
"No, I didn't!" said a shocked Sonia.  
  
"OK, there's your cheque for £500,000, but we don't want to give you that! We REALLY want to give you the last cheque for £1million and we could in just a moment. Take a look at the 15th and final question. Just be warned that a wrong answer will cost you £468,000."  
  
What is the name of the largest moon on Jupiter?  
  
A: IoB: Europa  
  
C: GanymedeD: Callisto  
  
Sonia thought for a long time.  
  
"Can I just explain the situation to you?" asked Chris "You've got a cheque for £500,000. You can take it if you want, but if you give me the correct answer to this question, you become our fourth millionaire on this programme. If you give me the wrong answer, though, you lose £468,000. It's a huge risk so take your time on this. Think carefully, we don't want you to lose it all now."  
  
Sonia thought for a while longer while she decided what to do. Meanwhile, tense music played in the background and the camera swooped slowly around the computer panels.  
  
Right, there are only 3 ways that the story can end. This is where YOU come in. Over the next 3 chapters are the 3 scenarios on how to end the story. You must pick only ONE. Sonia will either get the question right, she'll get it wrong, or she'll take the money. 


	2. Scenario 1

"What are you thinking at the moment?" asked Chris.  
  
"I've a very good feeling it's Ganymede" she replied.  
  
"You don't have to play this question. You can take your £500,000 if you want" said Chris.  
  
"No. I'm going to play" said Sonia, calmly. After a few surprised gasps from the audience, Chris said:  
  
"You're being absolutely cool about this. Are you sure you want to play because you'd stand to lose £468,000 if you're wrong."  
  
"I'm saying Ganymede," said Sonia "and it's my final answer." Her answer turned orange. Manic, who was still sat in the audience, covered his eyes in shock.  
  
"One of those answers is worth one million pounds, the other three will cost you £468,000," said Chris, softly "find out which is right in a couple of minutes!"  
  
"Oh, no!" cried Sonia "Don't do this to me!"  
  
After several exasperated groans from the audience the ad break began. After a few more minutes, the show was back on.  
  
"Welcome back to part 3 of WWTBAM," said Chris "Sonia is currently on £500,000. She had a look at the last question, the £1m question, and decided to play." He read out the question, the 4 possible answers and Sonia's choice of answer. "You'd lose £468,000 if you were wrong. Give me the cheque..." said Chris as he ripped up the £500,000 cheque. "Either way, you haven't got that anymore. What would it mean to you to lose £468,000?" he asked.  
  
"My brothers would kill me!" replied Sonia, with a nervous look on her face. Chris looked at his screen to see if Sonia's choice of answer was correct.  
  
"Well...you don't need to be afraid anymore, you've just won £1 MILLION!"  
  
After an uproarious applause from the audience, confetti fell to the floor, covering Sonia, Chris and the computers. Manic ran to Sonia's side and hugged her as hard as he could.  
  
"Well, it's happened again!" said Chris "another person has just won £1million! You've been amazing! How does it feel to be our fourth millionaire?"  
  
"It's fantastic!" replied Sonia "I'm really pleased! I really can't believe it!"  
  
"Well believe it! This cheque's yours! Manic, what was it like for you up there?" asked Chris "It must've been nerve-racking!"  
  
"Oh, man, I can't tell you how nerve-racking it was. Having to sit there while she played each question!" said Manic.  
  
"What went through your mind when Sonia played for £1million?" asked Chris.  
  
"Well, I thought she must've known the answer, otherwise she wouldn't have gambled" replied Manic.  
  
"Give her a round of applause, Sonia Hedgehog leaves us with £1million" said Chris. Sonia and Manic left the studio with the £1 million cheque. 


	3. Scenario 2

"What are you thinking at the moment?" asked Chris.  
  
"I've a feeling it's Callisto" she replied.  
  
"You don't have to play this question. You can take your £500,000 if you want." said Chris  
  
"No. I'm going to play" said Sonia, calmly. After a few surprised gasps from the audience, Chris said:  
  
"You're being absolutely cool about this. Are you sure you want to play because you'd lose £468,000 if you're wrong."  
  
"I'm saying Callisto," said Sonia "and it's my final answer." Her answer turned orange. Manic, who was still sat in the audience, covered his eyes in shock.  
  
"You've risked £468,000 on this question. You'd lose it if the answer is wrong," said Chris, softly "find out what happens after the break!" After several exasperated groans from the audience, the ad break began. After a few more minutes, the show was back on.  
  
"Welcome back to part 3 of WWTBAM," said Chris "Sonia is currently on £500,000. She had a look at the last question and decided to play."   
  
He read out the question, the 4 possible answers and Sonia's choice of answer. "You'd lose £468,000 if you were wrong. I have to admit I don't know what I would've done in your place. Give me the cheque..." said Chris as he ripped up the £500,000 cheque. "Either way, you haven't got that anymore...". He looked at his screen to see if her choice of answer was correct. "I don't know how to tell you this," he said with a sigh "...but you've just lost £468,000. Oh, I'm so sorry, it's the wrong answer. The correct answer was C: Ganymede."  
  
The audience all went silent, not knowing what to say.  
  
"She's been such a brave contestant, so give her a round of applause. Sonia Hedgehog goes away with £32,000" said Chris as Sonia left the studio with £32,000. 


	4. Scenario 3

"I don't have a clue," said Sonia "so I'm going to take my £500,000 and run."  
  
"You could become our fourth millionaire if you get this question right," said Chris "are you sure you want to take the money?"  
  
"If I had a lifeline left, I'd use it. I've got a feeling it's C, but at the moment, there's a 3 in 4 chance that it's wrong so I'm not prepared to take that risk. It's too much money to lose. I would be happier going away with £500,000 rather than £32,000. I can't risk it" she said.  
  
"Final answer, you're going to take the money?" asked Chris.  
  
"Yes, final answer" said Sonia.  
  
"OK, give her a big hand. Sonia Hedgehog leaves us with £500,000" said Chris as the audience applauded and the lights in the studio turned back on.  
  
"If you'd have been that little bit braver and said C...you would have just become our fourth millionaire - it WAS the right answer, but you did the right thing, it's too much to risk if you're not sure. Give her a big hand, as Sonia Hedgehog leaves us with £500,000" said Chris. Sonia left the studio with her cheque for £500,000. 


End file.
